28. September 2013
Much has happened since my return from the Bassen Rift. I failed my exams, repeated them and failed again. That left me in a depressive spiral. I thought long and hard about it, then decided to take a break from studying, the third time in twelve years. Will I ever complete this degree? I don’t know. Am I still feeling depressed? Always – I have no intention to blog about it; there’s already enough depression on WordPress to feed every hobbit on the shire.
The book I’m writing is progressing well, but not at the speed I’d prefer – the completion target I set for myself has come and gone, and I’m feeling the pressure. Additionally, I lost all five of my marijuana trees due to a silly mistake, which means nothing to smoke until next summer because I don’t buy stuff from vendors. I love to smoke.
I contemplated giving up blogging. I haven’t, but I’m not getting any real satisfaction from it any more; the time invested hasn’t yielded the expected returns. Some people say ‘200 followers in ten months’ is good. Is it? Minus the spam followers and the others who’ve gone inactive, I’d say it’s more like 150 followers. From that lot I can count the loyal readers on the fingers of my two hands; most people whom I read loyally don’t even bother to return the courtesy – my material is extremely diverse, yet they can’t find a single thing to read or like! I really hate the ones who visit your page repeatedly, to woo you, then disappear when you decide to follow them. Hit & Run! Suck it.
A positive note: The Voth(that friendly alien) returned several times to take me to the parallel universe; I declined. Instead of leaving, he changed his appearance to human form and invited me out to a bar, which was fun, so we do this a lot now – he likes Black Russians. Astoundingly, he hasn’t given up on me, and he admonishes me not to give up on myself; I suspect he only cares about getting my liver anyway, which isn’t in any danger because he injects me with a blue fluid that keeps the liver healthy no matter how much alcohol I consume. Sometimes we just stay in the flat and watch Vin Diesel movies – he loves Pitch Black, says he knows a planet just like that one and offered to take me there. I declined; that planet is terrifying.
I can’t say for sure when I will visit the parallel universe again, I want to, but I get the feeling that one day I might not return to this one, because nothing changes: humans love violence, greed and vanity, and there is no leader who offers a path to a different future. Quite frankly, I am sick and tired of it all. Ah, the Voth has returned, just in time for the new Riddick film.