Codename: Salvation

WARNING: SALTY LANGUAGE On the evening Brexit trumped on reason a devout man pleaded with me on a corner in Berlin a bold mission to extract my immortal soul from an imminent peril of which I was unaware. He told me I was born a sinner because a slutty woman put the wrong thing in … Continue reading

Screech

  The Ariane Grande concert in Manchester extinguished lives and shattered others, and what do I see in the news? The same ole shit in a fresh paper-bag. Prayers. What the F*** do your prayers do? I want to know, I need to know. Tell me, please. What exactly is it you ask for? Do … Continue reading

Accomplices

….so I smoked a joint instead and looking up, from the bed I thought Santa Claus is the man in the tan van with The Golden AN that Lefty spoke of. He’s coming. A bad habit on a sleigh until the Coca Cola Company decides otherwise. Does he bring all the presents under the tree … Continue reading

And The Winner Is!

Dear religious blogger, I apologize for all my blogposts that offended your beliefs. I am truly sorry. What you choose to believe is entirely up to you. If you wish to home-school your children in order to instil your beliefs without opposition is entirely up to you. If you wish to discriminate against certain sections of … Continue reading

How to court controversy

Originally posted on nobodysreadingme:
I am definitely going to upset a few people here, so if you’re of a religious bent, you may want to stop reading now. I’ll give you a minute or so. Dum dee dum dee dum dee dee… Right, here we go. I’m an atheist, but have no problem at all…

Unhitched

She gave Hitchens the blame. Him with his blasphemous books and radical leftist friends. She said my curiosity let the devil in, and now the cat is dead.  She threw everything she could find, me dodging and weaving along the trail to the bedroom, where she raged and hurled pillows before throwing herself on the bed … Continue reading

During The Ceasefire

Dear Christian Blogger, having just finished another christian lampoons post (in advance), and looking it over now, I couldn’t help but wonder how difficult it must be for Christian bloggers not to unfollow people who turn out to be atheists, like myself, the ‘not silent‘ type who doesn’t take Christianity’s obsessive proselytising sitting down – I make fun … Continue reading

Frankie Vatican – the secret tapes

Breaking News: Snowden releases Vatican files exclusively to nerd on the bridge. Private, recorded conversations between Pope Francis 1 and his aide Gaid Lahzi, conversations that have spawned the alias duo Layhzi-G & Frankie Vatican aka The Teflon Rap Gangsta. Both men were unaware of the devices. Tape 001 Layhzi G: Your Holiness! FV: Whaddup Layhzi G! Layhzi … Continue reading

Drake’s Prayer

Martin Drake relaxed in a warm bath of soothing salts and caressing bubbles, to candle light and Garfunkel’s guitar. A large snifter of Hennessy Paradis Extra enhances the moment, as he ruminates over the comforts of home and his life thus far. Just beyond his retreat, the children sleep, and Denise sits cosy on the … Continue reading

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