Jesus Juice

Mary added extra loaves,
but the fish were cold, so Jesus
punched her in the nag-hole and the nose,
then took a stroll over to the white house.

On the way, the saviour wondered aloud,
“how do I get these bitches back into the box?”

Vice-President Mike Pence on the line:

“Dear Jesus, I love you so very, very much. Haleua.”

Jackass, Jesus thought. Turned his wife into his mother.
Great liar, though, beautiful to watch. I can use that.

#metoo is a fucking nuisance. What abuse! They’re insane.

Working women. Unwed maidens given to lust! Sinners all.
Man governed by woman. Feminists!  Servant above her station.

Discarded their duty. Can’t cook. Childless. Satan’s work.
How do I get these bitches back into the box? How? How?

Vice-President Mike Pence on the line:

“Dear Jesus, Cecile Richards is leaving Planned Parenthood.”

Jesus smiles. “Now I can finally concentrate on Rachel Maddow.”

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