don’t be afraid,
they’re just pills,
but an hour later
wrenching gut and nowhere to go
but in the shadows,
where bliss played hedonist at my expense.
the sweet shone through
but the vessel collapsed,
exhausted from cavorting in the light.
torrential tears, as a little girl stood witness
to the breakage that reconstituted itself
and told her ”don’t be afraid, sweetie, it’s just a side-effect,
we’re still going to watch the Avengers,
and write music for the band you’re going to found,
when you’re grown, but please know,
it would’ve been much worse if you weren’t here.”
On the fourth day,
the anti-depressants delivered, as promised,
clear as day in sound mind for the first time in ages,
unafraid, grinding panic into dust,
hungry for life and daring to feel happiness,
ready to face the world that made me feel ashamed,
ashamed of my anxiety,
but this time, I won’t be running away. I’m staying.