Full Metal Jackass


Trumpeteer Paul
has the gall
to demand respect
for his pimp-elect

and forgets

that his friends
spent eight years
stoking fears
of gorilla apes
living in the white house,

which is strange,

because I read somewhere
that apes are intellectually superior,

in contrast

to the jackass they’ve tasked
with conjuring  riches and a time machine.

Cry babies, we are, says he,

while gorging himself,
on Putin’s American Pie;

it’s dry, unlike the one
from Martha Stewart,
but she’s a liberal whore
supporting non-white culture,

he doesn’t trust her
to authenticate the recipe,
served with a Moscow Mule,

eagerly wolfing it down,


and perplexed

as to why we are crying
at the sight of a mass suicide.

6 Responses to “Full Metal Jackass”
  1. tcriggs says:

    Awesome. Terrifyingly accurate. But awesome. Thanks for this… (needed it). 🙂

  2. Dina Honour says:

    It’s fucking unbelievable. The whole goddamn, stupid thing.

  3. calmgrove says:

    Us snowflakes have to clump together and form an avalanche that will sweep him and his ilk out of his bunker.

    • lexborgia says:

      Roger that. Don’t think he needs our help: “my rope, mine, mine, I can choke on it myself, bigly.” Let’s stay close, just in case.

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