Dear Infantile Blogger,
you’re ruining the experience for many of us. It takes time – wasted time – to read your ‘sex tagged’ post that isn’t about sex. Do you actually understand what sex is? Maybe I can help.
1. It pertains to your Willy driving hard into Sally’s endzone.
2. Single admission: The five-finger flush if you’re female. The hand-wrap if you’re male.
3. 1000 words about dinner with her parents isn’t sex, unless you fantasize about doing them both for good measure.
4. Give us details; at least tell us you have a hard on, or a moist wave cresting in the canyon. For fucks sake; fuck.
5. Talk about the the actual thing, even if it’s just medical. Tell us your’re horny, or you can’t get none cause your parents are watching you like a hawk. Tell us about the dirty magazines you hide from your husband, or why you hate porno. GROW UP. Stop wasting my fucking time. Stop exploiting blogging space that real bangers need. Post your silliness on Facebook and call it whatever you want, but on WordPress we expect your post to adhere to the tag in some minute sense.
I have several posts in the cue, about sex, which I won’t post because dickheads and frigidrators will ensure it’s buried under infantile rants. Your new, shiney red car is only about sex if you intend to get laid in it – intent is the key. Give us the lowdown or step aside. Please. A cracker isn’t is dinner roll.
Look, I’m reasonable, and desperate, so I’ll use the only thing you thirty-something kids seem to understand; a T.V Show. Firefly ep6 – Our Mrs Reynolds.
Saffron (Mrs Reynolds) is trying to seduce Mal:
Saffron (naked, to Mal): “I do know my bible sir: on the night of their bethrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plough, and he shall work in her, in, and again, till she brings him to his fall, and rest him then upon the sweat of her breast.”
Do you idiots get the drift yet? Cease the bullshit. Get serious. Cheers.