Frankie Vatican – the secret tapes
Breaking News: Snowden releases Vatican files exclusively to nerd on the bridge. Private, recorded conversations between Pope Francis 1 and his aide Gaid Lahzi, conversations that have spawned the alias duo Layhzi-G & Frankie Vatican aka The Teflon Rap Gangsta. Both men were unaware of the devices.
Layhzi G: Your Holiness!
FV: Whaddup Layhzi G!
Layhzi G: Checkin books, getting looks, from crooks got off the hook,
not much, you good?/
FV: Si. Si, but I’m worried Layhzi G/
Catholicism at a turning point, and no joint filled with weed will make it seem, any better, for the clever with an everlasting memory of what we did, to them little kids, turning tricks for treats, and little feet, free of charge, police leave us at large to roooooll the way we want to choose, who to abuse, and I can’t live with that, kinda slack behaviour, a screen-saver for the haters and atheists to taunt my saviour with, the drip, from the tip of the iceberg/
Layhzi G: Holy Father, have some water, maybe lay down, for a while, replace the frown with a smile/
FV: Rest is the test the best the biggest and the brightest must withstand, we under attack…Jack, understand, these are scandals in a zip-lock bag, fresh forever, to the letter of the law that we don’t recognize/
Layhzi G: Big Frank, thank the bank, you gotta a credit line, and it ain’t never going dry, so why you freaking bout them paedophiles?/
FV: you fuh real? we just got outta jail, no bail, with a coffin and a nail, but without a hammer, to slam it shut for good, an escape that would have failed on any given day, if we didn’t have the paper, and the fear, to break the stare-down/
we got flames of anger, protest banners, hackers working after-hours, to climb behind the facebook page of holy mother church to find the jerks, who did this shit, it ain’t legit, and it don’t pay, donations on the wane, private plane need gasolene, can you feel me homey?/
Layhzi G: No yet ma Bro, let it flow/
FV:Well the trinity, he does, or is it she? but I’m the man they come to Layhzi G, and it’s worry worry worry dirty laundry, never finished till the stains have vanished, and the truth is, our lily white virgin tight sheets lost a cherry, stained for eternity, so we need someone like Lucy, to set this right, can’t fight, fire with wood/
Layhzi G: Wood! well you could-
FV: just STFU