Kiss the Cook

Apple CEO Tim Cook is out. Gay. And proud to be.

Please. Spare me.

Why should he, or any other human-being exposed to publicity feel compelled to disclose their sexual orientation?

Follow the money.

When ‘the public’ en masse is your watering hole – the foundation of your income – it is fundamental to highlight when you, or your product, is tainted with the gay, akin to ‘smoking can cause cancer‘ on cigarette packages: Mr Cook needs to tell us with whom his penis is doing what.

The journalists bringing us the news should disclose their sexual habits as well. Do they have sex toys! Regular threesomes! Who likes it anal? Double penetration! Spanking, masturbation techniques, etc.,.

Are our ‘imaginitive’ sex practises’ immune from public disclosure simply because they’re hetero based and we’re not on television?

Why is Appleman’s penile parking a matter of national interest? Headline News.

Tim Cook is gay and the sky hasn’t fallen on our heads. Who cares! Corporate media does. Sex sells. Any sex.

Mental images of Cook in bed with a man are still potent enough to make most people in fundamentalist religious countries (like the USA!) go ‘hmm,’ and long for more dirty details, but above all else, it allows Apple’s global customer base – and Tim’s social circle – to be truly given a fair chance to assess the quality of Apple’s gay tainted products; maybe they aren’t as good as we believed, now the gay is out!

Tim Cook isn’t the man whom we thought him to be, deceiving us all this time, playing us for fools!  Is he still worthy of life amongst us? Should we care which way he fluffs his pillows? This hetero doesn’t.

blog photo: Lions©Glen Fabry

13 Responses to “Kiss the Cook”
  1. makagutu says:

    And god gave him the gift. Am waiting for Christians to throw stones

  2. zareenn3 says:

    I hate it when the media creates so much hype about one’s sexuality. Uffo!

  3. amoafowaa says:

    The issue of gays is dicey in Africa. Many have been brutalised in the name of sexuality. I think it doesn’t matter if someone born decides to leave the world one way or enjoy what he or she has on another.

  4. janeybgood says:

    A secular “AMEN” to you! I long for the day someone’s sexual orientation will be perceived as completely irrelevant. I’m just waiting for Richard Branson to announce he’s in to S&M.

  5. In the interest of playing devil’s advocate, I pose to you some thoughts. I too wish for the day when someone’s sexual orientation is irrelevant. However, I think it’s really important to remember that to come out as anything other than heterosexual is not simply a declaration of who you sleep with. Homosexuality is unfortunately, in this heteronormative society, an identity laden with implications, expectations and struggles. You say that disclosing “hetero based sexual fantasies” is something not generally deemed acceptable, nor necessary, and so why should the act of publicly announcing your sexual orientation be treated any differently. I wholeheartedly agree that the media shouldn’t be making a huge circus out things like this. But to come out as gay in, as it is, a “straight world”, is a pretty big deal. Many people, both straight and gay, will say, as you do “Who cares?” And whilst yours resonates acceptance, many others’ do not. In coming out, Tim Cook has demonstrated courage, and showed that whilst in many countries around the world, LGBT people do not have the opportunity to rise to such influential corporate positions (as has Cook), this does not always have to be the case. Just my diplomatic two cents!

    • lexborgia says:

      I agree entirely: my ‘satire laced sarcasm bomb’ is aimed at society, a reminder that these kind of announcements are still expected in a modern world proclaiming enlightenment and liberation, hence the tag ‘nanoprobe,’ the category I use to question our society,
      It sickens me to have to put up with this continuous display of well intentioned public shaming.

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