Bedtime Stories

A collection of text messages which reveal our sexual nature. Do you recognise yourself? Of course you do, and there’s no need to feel ashamed. Many thanks to all who contributed.


  • I’m very annoyed about letting you in my life again. You played me, took my pussy, money, and left. I don’t want 2c you again.
  • I’m sitting in the train to my office. Nothing to do except waiting.. It’s warm here, thinking of you. And now I’m really horny. Damn it’s hurting.
  • Hey! Can you please bring me a really nice loaf of bread? Have nothing at home. And some nice dick to go with it. Cheers.
  • I’m sorry. Fuck you.
  • No, you’re a beautiful blondie, but you’d be even more, as a brunette. The classic look takes you to the level you deserve. Trust me.
  • Wow.. Kapow.. Bang bang.. My baby shot me down.
  • The first night in Thessalonica you can stay in my hotel for free… you have to pay just the hooker.
  • I’m way out on the West Side… sorry I missed you… but… uh…who is this?
  • I send you many hugs, a kiss on the cheek and some for your handbag. Wish you a nice evening Goddess.
  • Please be quiet don’t make a sound: I’m going to ring you now, only say hello and pass the phone to Helen.
  • Hey my nordic siren, mesmerize the pilgrims, appease the pagan gods of music, colour their souls with yours, then come to us; we have more paint.
  • Are those girls leading you astray?
  • Will the dessert be served moist, and moaning? Then yes.
  • No. I never wear shoes in bed! Okay, sometimes, but not tonight.
  • Sorry I didn’t make it on Friday. Are we still on for dinner tomorrow?
4 Responses to “Bedtime Stories”
  1. “Are those girls leading you astray?” Something I’m often asked…

  2. makagutu says:

    Hahaha! Interesting texts people send

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