So What!

Nato General Secretary Anders ‘feckin eejit’ Rasmussen has appealed to the E.U and Nato States to prepare for war, threatening Russia with grave consequences if, as in Crimea, it accedes to any requests by Russians in East Ukraine, the Russian half of the country comprising the Russian half of the country that considers itself Russian.

The public record shows, Feckin Eejit is an echo chamber. Nato General Secretary is a post reserved for Europe – if the U.K  is America’s poodle, then the Nato General Secretary is President Obama’s sock puppet.

The man who moves the puppet’s lips has made repeatedly clear: the pro E.U western region, and Kiev, comprising an ethnic Ukrainian majority, is the sole, legitimate voice of all citizens in Ukraine – except Russians – and only their wishes, referendums and political coups resulting from the instability we’ve covertly engineered will be legitimised.

Former President Yanukovych, who respected the 2004 democratic election which saw him voted out of power, only to regain power in the 2010 democratic election, surprisingly agreed with Mr Obama, saying, “after the orange revolution I too could have staged a coup, but I’m no facist, or nazi. And I’m definitely not an E.U groupie, or an Obama ass-puppet, so I declined. Besides, Vladimir’s hand is nicer – firm, but nicer.”

Yulia Tymoshenko, the spiteful, most corrupt politician Ukraine has ever produced since Kuchma, has put forward a solution to the crisis: becoming President. As such, the former Prime Minister would possess absolute power, urgently needed to expedite her next attempt to gain commercial control of Ukraine’s energy industry, a plan endorsed by the puppet, the E.U, and the guy with his hand up the puppet’s…!

President Putin, on hearing the news, cancelled a hunting trip at the Moscow Zoo.

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Comments
16 Responses to “So What!”
  1. roadwax says:

    Indeed. My current favourites are the myriad US commentators and Chatham House klingons who wring their hands at the thought that Russia may be intentionally destabilising the area and installing puppet governments. Of course, America (by comparison) would never do such a thing…

    • lexborgia says:

      …and everyone believes them; frightening. Each new display of people’s ignorance is alarming. Journalism is dead, only propaganda remains, and a willing media to spread it among the masses.

  2. Once again, within the humour and satire, a far more insightful and accurate portrayal of events and world opinion than to be found in the regular press. Great job as always and as we’ve come to expect from you…

  3. makagutu says:

    You do this so well. I like your satirical pieces.

  4. charlypriest says:

    I have the solution. If Russia takes a territory from Ukraine the U.S should take another territory from Ukraine, and on and on. Then, they can sit in their respective borders and kiss.

    Just a thought………..did I just say this?

    • lexborgia says:

      The Ukraine comprises only two territories, Russian and ethnic Ukrainian…(and 12% Tartars). If the Russian East wants to reunite with Russian why shouldn’t they! The Western Side should go their own way – not worth the trouble, and Russia has no problem with that. Instead of stirring the hornets nest, as usual, and making things worse, the USA should work with Russia to find a solution. The United States is out of order with their ridiculous threats and sanctions.

      • charlypriest says:

        I agree that the threats and sanctions are ridiculous – there should be more sanctions and more threats. This didn’t happen with Bush. Why? Because Putin understands strength, he understood that if he did some strange little thing like invading a sovereign nation there were really going to be consequences. So there was a balance. The U.S has to lead. Like it or not, at the end of the day if America the superpower isn’t more involved in foreign affairs there is likely to be unrest in the world. Look what happened in Lybia, Syria, Egypt! Now Russia is threatening to give Iran more weapons. This is all because of a weak U.S and mainly a weak president with a guilt complex i.e ‘they don´t like the U.S because the U.S has done something wrong.’ Well maybe, but if you want to maintain some sort of world order there has to be one superpower, and I prefer it to be the U.S(not perfect but who is) than Russia. Cause then we are screwed. Actually we already are.

        • lexborgia says:

          Agree. Bush was the kind of leader to aspire to; strong, honest, a peace maker, fair and balanced, not like Putin, who kills indiscriminately with drones, invades one country after another and destabilises countless others, guarantees the Palestinian occupation of Israel continues unabated and has turned a stable country like Syria into a warzone and refugee nightmare. Now he cares about Russians in a half Russian country!! We must remove him asap.

  5. Linda Vernon says:

    Hm. . . great post but I don’t see your goat. Maybe that explains why last time I saw a picture of Secretary Andrews, he looked really full . . .

    • lexborgia says:

      The goat! He – Winthorpe – is presently taking a shit, shower and shave, then will be taken for a perm, passport photos and visa appointment at the U.S Embassy tomorrow. Please have guest-room ready for his arrival at your L.A residence over the Easter Holiday. Many thanks on his behalf.

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