warning: this post is meant to be offensive
“And what, I wonder, does good Solonius receive for convincing me to spread cheeks and accept deeper ramming!”- Quintus Batiatus
“Equal position in the games.”- Marcus Decius Solonius
The United Nations has rescinded its invitation to Iran, Syria’s sole ally, to attend the Geneva peace negotiations on Syria.
General Secretary Ban ki Moon, with brown sauce smearing his nose, tiny slivers of dark meat still clinging to the corners of his mouth and traces of nuts on his chin, emerged from a hurried dinner with Barack Obama to deliver the news.
“Big meal, big meal”, joked Mr Ban to the press. He then went on to explain- still choking on it – that these negotiations were being held to “ensure a peaceful overthrow of the Syrian Government, and as an inclusive organisation for peace we cannot countenance any invitees that the USA and peaceful Sharia wielding, Saudi backed extremists in Syria object to.”
Under an extensive barrage of questions Mr Ban at one stage began to waver, suggesting it may be more appropriate if all sides involved sat down with the purpose of finding a common solution for the Syrian people without the interference of outside forces, but his aide, somewhat reluctantly, diverted his attention to a door in the background where American diplomats stood dangling another large bowl of brown sauce, a large platter of roasted meat and a sack of fleshy nuts: Mr Ban salivated and quickly reverted to his initial statement.
Photo: U.N General Secretary Ban ki Moon by John Moore©Getty Images.