She’s on Vacation

Englishmen eat pies
fish fried in batter with chips not fries
follow football clubs
all their lives
driving countless miles
to watch those balls fly

comes the surprise
themselves without the wives
who’ve flown to beaches
on sunny isles
in search of men
with bigger balls
and smiles
who take a while
before they’re done having fun with those girls

Americans pray
they go to church
marry young
to have the syrup
of sex
sometimes called love
she joins the Englishwoman….on that beach

every girl wants a ring
and a white dress
a test
to prove that man worthy
the honey

his money
and sex on the beach as security
in case it all goes wrong
nothing burns forever

promises made to get a date
handcuffs when she becomes my mate
no poontang on my plate
when she’s angry
headache as a strategy
and brochures
of golden beaches under palm trees

after crying
her girlfriend talks of flying
off to somewhere hot
“It’s exactly what you need, what we need, you’ll see”

as you please
monogamy is not for me
I’m moving to the Caribbean
where women
are always happy.

16 Responses to “She’s on Vacation”
  1. WIIIII-CKED! And this… “No poontang on my plate when she’s angry, headache as a strategy”

    Not only factual but an outstanding use of poontang! I may have to go back and add that to the script. Over.

  2. Arkenaten says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed this. It instantly reminded me of the movie Shirley Valentine, with Pauline Collins.

  3. makagutu says:

    Interesting. The men come down to Mombasa and spend all their money then return to Europe to continue watching football

  4. dhonour says:

    I too thought of Shirley Valentine. Then I thought about the Danish women, who often trade in their men for a younger model. Then I thought that I would rather have my English husband watch (English) football rather than (American) football. All those thoughts, just from one poem. Talk to me in February, when in the midst of a cold, Danish winter I am booking tickets to the beach. ;-).

  5. cestlavie22 says:

    I like this a lot. Granted I am a girl who is all about finding that one man to make it last but you are right it is an unrealistic idea in this day and age. You might be on to the right idea here. Just a sad thing to realize.

  6. mirrorgirl says:

    Lovely world. Poontang?

  7. Catweazle says:

    Very clever… now I gotta find a rhyme for ‘poontang’, Thanks a bunch!

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