Everyone Has It


Nice teeth, cute feet

Friends, sex, paycheck

Credit, car, house, spouse

Gym membership, a New York Times subscription

Flatscreen and concert tickets

Facebook fame, Twitter name, Skype, Civil Rights

Big dick, huge tits, no zits thanks to clearasil

Tumblr and an Iphone, don’t leave home without it

Windows 8 – maybe not that

Obama poster, vibrator, prozac

Nice furniture

Breakfast, lunch and dinner

Everyone has it!

The Sideboob Gazette, expensive pets, private jets

An alias, a saviour, a 401(k)

Youth, truth, the right to choose

Orgasms, gluttons, overcrowded prisons

Patience, insurance, parents

Miracles, confidence, reality tv, Palestinian refugees

Plans for the weekend, honest politicians

Porno secrets, Victoria’s secret

A Push up, a pump up, performance pills

A-List, B-List, C-List, D-List Celebrities,

Whatever the hell that means

Page3 models, TV role models, paid to say „buy this please“

Birthday parties and a piece of Banksy


Everyone has it!

Blog, vlog, bus stops

PIN-numbers, electric can openers

Leftovers, hangovers, sleepovers

Economic Growth

Justice at the Supreme Court

Free education, playstations

Vaccinations, Contraception

Google Chrome

Tatoos, shampoo, new shoes

Clean water, equality, democracy

Inner peace



The right to end your own life

Everyone has it

Don’t you?

copyright2013A.N Herbert

Disclaimer: Dr Farnsworth: TM Copyright of the Fox Broadcasting Company.

16 Responses to “Everyone Has It”
  1. Arkenaten says:

    This I enjoyed a lot.

  2. makagutu says:

    This is hilarious!

  3. Eva van Beek says:

    Wonderful! Nicely put.

  4. dhonour says:

    Ooh, it’s like your very own 100 random things list! I have a lot of those. But my lips will remain sealed as to which…

  5. Linda Vernon says:

    I love the things you chose and the way you mixed them up in just the perfect order! So very, very good to read, Borgia!

  6. This is really good. So many great lines…

    Big dick, huge tits, no zits thanks to clearasil

  7. themonumentaljackass says:

    Brilliant, as usual! And extremely witty.

    But one question. The Sideboob Gazette? Something called the Sideboob Gazette exists?

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