Snack and Go

Spam, now considered an undesirable, was once integral to a daily diet, specially for many low income families. Unfortunately, it has become even less than a food source, namely, a literary annoyance.

The WordPress spam-blocker, Askimet, filters our literary diet, removing spam, and ham, on a daily basis, leaving only healthy, nutritious servings of literature salad – the comments. Some of those comments are quite entertaining. So, without further ado, from the WordPress Askimet Archives, a post honouring the Spam Pitchmen and their irresistible sandwiches.

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These five spambots, all from Poland, will wax and polish your rear-end like never before, prepared to do and say whatever it takes to ‘get a date with you.’

1. Enjoyed researching this, excellent things, value it. “A man could find out knowledge even from an opponent.” by Aristophanes. – Tester511.

2. Cool blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A theme like yours with a few simple adjustments would really make my blog stand out. Please let me know where you got your theme. – With thanks. – Ernest.

3. We find many of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs? I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on many of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome weblog! – Primewire

4. It is super blog, I wish to be like you. – Craig.

5. F*ckin’ tremendous things here. I am very glad to see your article. Thanks a lot and i’m looking forward to contact you. Will you please drop me a mail? – Michel.

Our response: To facilitate a group response I’ve decided to label them the Ludicrous Five. ‘Dear LF, I assume you’re ardent fans of Tom Cruise, therefore, it is only appropriate that he responds on my behalf, in his role as the unforgettable Les Grosmann in the film Tropic Thunder:’

“Ok, Ludicrous Five! Fuckface! First, take a big step back and literally F**K YOUR OWN FACE. Whatever you’re thinking you gonna have to think again, cause I’m gonna have to head down there and I will rain down an ungodly f**king firestorm upon you. You gonna have to call the f**king United Nations and get a f**king binding resolution to keep me from f**king destroying you. I am talking scorched earth motherf**ker, I will massacre you, I will F**K YOU UP.”- Les

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These three are definitely the types you’d wish to introduce to your parents; polite and highly educated, with a taste for avant garde fashion.

>> Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after checking through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyways, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently! – cheap red-bottom shoes.

>> Nice read. I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing some research on that. And he actually bought me lunch since I found it for him smile. Therefore let me rephrase that: Thank you for lunch! – Rhett

>> It’s the fashion eye-roll seen ’round the world: in April, Michael Kors Outlet Online, explained it to me like this; Last night it was smelling something rotten, Mister. Could there be any cuter a combination than Michael Kors Outlet Online and Disney In what’s probably going to be our favorite designer collaboration!! – Bowerworks 

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And finally, this corned beef nugget for Nike shoes, a word salad so confusing to even an orangutang brain, yet so delicious that I was forced to edit – almost impossible – for human comsumption.

>> Bernardo recalled the North Park Theater and the Ramona as a tacky place. We couldn’t afford to go to the North Park so we went to the Ramona, he said. Kids would spill drinks all over, and your feet would stick to the floor. At high altitudes drinking from the tube can leave you breathless as the time spent drinking while walking is time that you aren’t breathing. This sounds surprising but it does make a difference with the low oxygen levels. The support system of the shoe is also really good, as it features a Skeletal Support Shank, which should be able to keep your feet firm and in place, especially when you are doing a variety of moves, twisting, turning and dancing in the class. Ultimately, even in the heyday of Rome, an ounce of gold would purchase a toga, sash, sandals and a wreath for the head.
The salad is dressed with olive oil. – nikecanadashoes.

And the winner is…!

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Comments
11 Responses to “Snack and Go”
  1. Now I am just not sure what to say… lol. 😉

  2. makagutu says:

    That was a good laugh, especially your response to the LF!

  3. dhonour says:

    Wow. You get much better spam than I do!!

  4. penegrinshaw says:

    You have top spam. It’s the Rolls Royce of spam…and you’re just as mad as me. love this post! needs monkeys though…!

  5. Bastet says:

    Reblogged this on Bastet and Sekhmet and commented:
    All about spam…and more a very interesting and funny blog…only I’m so sorry I’m late in reading it!

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