Wanted: Warden Liebster

I’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award. Okay. To have a chance at winning the award, I’m required to divulge several ‘generous’ slivers of information about myself. I’ll be winning very little under those rules.

I’m an extremely private person, and having to talk about myself is ungratifying. And it terrifies me. Even now, I am fighting the urge to erase it all and say ‘to hell with it,’ but I’m going to see this through, because sometimes it is necessary, if you want the people who have shown interest in you – or what you do – to stick around. This is not 4the award, but only 2share something personal with them.

To my comrade-in-arms, Captain Tinkerdale(theuniverseandme), thank you for the nomination.

What is the Liebster Award? 

liebster-award1

This award is given to up and coming bloggers with less than 200 followers to give new blogs recognition and hopefully giving them further viewers and followers as a result.

How does the award work?

According to the rules, upon receiving the nomination, your mission… if you choose to accept it is:

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you.
  2. Tell 11 things about yourself.
  3. Answer the 11 questions asked  by the person who nominated you.
  4. Nominate up to 11 new bloggers. A few will suffice.
  5. Ask 11 questions to the bloggers you nominated.
  6. Inform the bloggers you choose.

Eleven things about myself(my heart is racing).

1. I hate water. I find it – the taste – rather disgusting, and I must force myself to consume at least 1Ltr of it each week – when I remember. Instead! I consume loads of soya, tea and coffee.

2. Having withdrawn from my earlier profession as ‘party animal,’ my body can no longer process ridiculous amounts of alcohol; my limit is one drink. Two will take me to where I should be on #10?

3. I have a 10yr old daughter.

4. I haven’t had sex in almost three years – with a woman. Unbelievable to people think they know me.’ No, it does not have the same effect on me as alcohol does, and I’m 100% healthy hetero.

5. I’ve been arrested once, in Frankfurt, for a ‘stolen‘ cellphone. In the mid 90s, before cellphones became routine, I worked at the Marriott Champions Bar, with my best friend Paul, from Hull, and he had one cellphone too many. Add cellphone to Ford Escort Bravo Limited Edition. To well dressed dark-skinned guy. With dreadlocks. Suspicion. Handcuffed, dragged away and thrown into a police van – public humiliation – driven past the Marriott. No no, we ain’t stopping to confirm your story.

In the station, after they pulled on their rubber gloves to probe my nether regions for my ‘hidden drugs,’ I lost my patience and threatened them with a public law suit; they promptly rang the Marriott: freedom.

6. I have crashed every car I have ever owned(6), because I can’t drive slow. I wept like a child over the Escort. And the Toyota Celica.

7. Here’s a shocker. At 15, I was raped by a serial rapist. I was so terrified, felt defiled, disgusted and ashamed of myself – plus he promised he’d kill me if I told anyone – I never told anyone until 10 years later. Don’t be afraid, tell someone.

8. Every time I land in the States, immigration asks me the same question each time, but they never tell me why: ‘Have you been to California? Are you sure? Try to remember clearly.’

9. The thing about me left unsaid. Next.

10. As Captain, I once threatened to kick the English band East 17 through the floor, in the Marriott, for behaving like a bunch of lower class turds. I even dangled eviction – they were guilty as sin. They offered a sincere apology .

11. I worked as a costumed clown an entire summer long.

Captain Tinkerdale’s 11 gruelling questions for me to answer!:

1. If you could invite three famous guests to dinner, who would they be and why? Christopher Hitchens(he’s dead), because he’s the greatest intellectual of the last 100yrs. I’d discuss with him a strategy to further discredit and destabalize the God-makers. Quentin Tarantino, the greatest director on the planet, and I could finally get2 pitch my film to him(he’d love it). Hillary Clinton. Pure grit and determination, the perfect template for ‘how to implement a long-term strategy.’ I want to be her apprentice.

2. If you could be a superhero, what power would you choose to have and why (throw in your hero name too for good measure)? If I had a choice, I wouldn’t choose a power, I’d choose access, to Batman’s arsenal. My hero name is easy: Fuck-u-Up. 

3. What is your fondest memory (that you are happy to share) from any stage of your life? A late breakfast at a little restaurant in Kensington(on Olympia), then several snifters of Contreau with the Times, to ease me into Lunch.

4. What is the last film that you watched? (Rate it out of 5). Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Pt.2. Animation. As an avid fan of the caped crusader, I found this story and its execution to be flawless. It’s an extended epilogue: Batman returns to free city from mutant gangs. What now! The Joker delivers a performance worthy of the question. Dark, uncompromising, murderous. Long, hard hitting fights, dialogue that lays bare the darkness in Batman’s soul. And to top it off, a 2the death showdown in crime alley: Batman vs Superman. 10 out of 5. >>link2movie>> BTMTDKRTPt.1

5. If you could time travel, where and when would you travel to and why? I would return to the back-end of the 15th century, to observe first-hand the rise of The House of Medici.

6. Do you ever get compared to a celebrity in looks or personality traits, if so, who? I hope not: celebrities are asswholes(whole ones).

7. Do you prefer sunrise or sunset? I’m a nocturnal creature, but as long as I can eat breakfast any time of day, like the Irish do, I don’t care what hangs in the sky.

8. What is your favourite word? Indeed.

9. When you were younger, what did you want to be when you grew up? A policeman. After each rejection(3) I told them ‘I’ll be back.’ They got lucky.

10. Would you rather trade looks for intelligence or intelligence for looks? Why? Good looks is something you should never trade. Knowledge can be acquired.

11. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How are my books selling?

And now, my nominations for The Liebster Award are: The January Papers. 31 stories in 31 days. I Don’t know how many readers he has, but he is a ‘must read.’ This gentleman has produced a literary masterpiece. 2. E.J Bones. A cute, sexy and adventurous London woman living with Myeloma, knowing every day can be the last. Funny, sad, uplifting, inspiring. 3. Clementine Morrigan. Do not pressure or patronize her, she’s a delicate flower. 4. Nobody’s Reading Me. Have you ever had tapas? Exactly.

I haven’t yet figured out what I want to ask my nominees; I need to sleep on it. They’re a clever lot.

I think that’s it… this was time consuming… but isn’t every post!

Feb.3.2013. Okay, here are my questions:

1. Have you ever smoked a joint? Explain your experience or deficit, in under 35 words.                           

2. What do you really think about Germans? No pussyfooting, be honest.

3. Your favourite classic movie from 1951 – 1971. Why?

4. Has anyone ever walked in on you having sex? Or vice versa. Dirty details, please. 

5. The first book you read that left a lasting, mind-altering impression on you. That includes comics, the bible etc. Please describe the mind-fuck.

6. If you were allowed, legally, without repercussions or a pesky conscience, to kill 3people, who would they be? Why? Which methods would you employ?

7. Do you stand before the mirror and sing at yourself – which singer do you most pretend to be?

8. If you were ‘condemned’ to spend a day in a woman/man’s body, give a small summary of what you would do all day – and night.

9. If you could travel back in time, when+where would you go?

10. If you could be a superhero, what power would you choose to have and why (throw in your hero name too for good measure)?

11. What is your fondest memory (that you are happy to share) from any stage of your life?

The Answers begin here: http://nobodysreadingme.wordpress.com/lexsborgia/

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Comments
7 Responses to “Wanted: Warden Liebster”
  1. tinkadele says:

    Thanks for taking the time to share this with us Commander! Your facts were interesting and personal and the answers for the questions were humorous, as to be expected! An enjoyable read. 🙂

    • lexsborgia says:

      I was gong to recommend you for a promotion to Admiral of the Omega Battle Group, but seeing as you addressed me as Commander, I’m not so sure any more!
      I know I 4got 1or2 questions…I do it later. Cheers, Captain.

  2. tinkadele says:

    You are the Commander of the Starfleet, no? Or is it more like Admiral? President? Chief? 😀 ps. I want my promotion.

  3. Good…so what am I getting as a fan?

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