Please remain calm.
Our gender free smileys are hellbent on dodging rainbows, because rainbows, like good politicians, only appear on dire days long after the damage is done, singing a familiar song: ‘everything’s gonna be alright.’ Rainbows can’t be trusted.
You, on the other hand, can trust us to hit you with the whole nine yards.
This, the 3rd Issue, is a rotten scoundrels expedition, led by the ‘man lover, man champion, man baffled’ baseball fan and funny woman Mancakes, together with sunny boy Daniel Whelan, whose kamikazee project ‘The January Papers’ provides the second feature to round out the challenge. It will require some time to complete, so choose your starting point well. Begin.
A man is known by the company he keeps, if you have the time to snoop around trying to find out who that company is, and as we’ve been taught – by decent parents – snooping around in other people’s business is not something you should aspire to. However, human nature demands to know, so let’s apply a more respectable method: a man is known by the hat he wears, or lack of one.
Daniel Whelan’s protagonist desires a hat more than anything else in the world, but is denied the privilege, while Mancakes has awarded a hat to someone who doesn’t desire it. Truth be told, the chosen have truly earned those hats, both by way of their actions. Who the hat fits, let him wear it.
Mancakes: I Am Not Adele And I Do Not Wish The Best For You.
‘Never mind, I’ll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you, too.’-(Adele – someone like you)
“Screw that. I sorta hope you wake up one day to find that you have enormous, impossible to hide man breasts, your nuts have shriveled up into seedy little raisins, your penis has become an inny, your ex-wife still insists on her child support that leaves you penniless, and your sons decide to become full time drag queens.”
‘Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned!’ Indeed. When I first read this it was fuming fresh, when I returned for seconds the next day it was freshly pressed, and well deserving of it. This diamond crusted, blistering smack-down should serve as a warning to present and future perpetrators, and to pre-empt any migration of seedy raisins to my pants I think it wise to quickly retreat to a safe distance while the Domina slams you, and Asshat, to the mat repeatedly. Ouch. Update: 7th Oct 2013 – the Blogger has recently deleted her website. Alternative link here>>>I Am Not Adele And I Do Not Wish The Best For You .
“Just because I have no wish to murder you before the eyes of your daughter does not mean that parading her around in front of me is gonna inspire sympathy. You and I have unfinished business, and not a God damn fucking thing you’ve done in the subsequent four years including getting knocked up is gonna change that.”- which Actress, in which Blockbuster cult-film spoke those words?
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly Success comes with a price. Warning: these posts contain language and description which some may find inappropriate, sexually arousing or educational.
Good things come to those who wait! And too often, with unwanted surprises. Bastet and Sekhmet: My Friend Dan
Bad Girls have all the fun! Does that include dinner? The verdict is not final. Chapter 8 – Mr Sensitive – The Reporter & The Girl.
Ugly, is an acquired taste. Only those who are ‘flexible’ can truly appreciate it. S.asher Sund – Men are from Mars, Women are from Penis
Daniel Whelan: January Papers – The Dark Corner (paper #11)
“The Third Realm has more than it’s fair share of hardy adventurers. There are hard-bitten ones, flawed ones, ones with a mysterious past, ones with amnesia, sickeningly good ones, bad ones that you sort of like despite them being bad. And none of them venture to the Dark Corner.”
Ogres are born to kill, plunder and scare the living daylights out of you, that’s their destiny. The Ogre, Killburn YellowHat, is facing a paradox; his destiny is, not to be who and what he is, which is difficult because he’s brilliant at being who and what he is – an Ogre. This paper is a complex yet simple dilemna, a puzzle not to be solved but to be understood, something that is surely within reach of the patient intellect. Follow this link to>>> January Papers – The Dark Corner (paper #11)
Short-cuts: 5 quick-reads in a roadside motel
Grumpy Old Git: Profanities – A few constructive examples
Opinionated Man: Killing Earth – E.T & WTF visit the planet Earth
Top 10 of Anything & Everything: Pallet Tables – you can do this at home
Writing, Reading & Nerdy Things: Soupy Sadness – starving for knowledge
Linda Vernon: 17 Things You’ll Never Hear A Woman Say – listen carefully
The Authors bear sole responsibility for any short or long-term psychological damage that may result from the reading of these recommendations.
Dodging Rainbows Issue 4 to be released on Sunday May 26th. All previous issues are located in the sub-menu Quarks Emporium.