premiere
  • Meteor Fragments

    The Poster Love MachineFebruary 13th, 2013
    '....that's big enough for 2 or 3, or 23, I ain't got no hang-ups.'
argument

Heads or Tails?

Top dollar Too rich for my blood Penny for your thoughts! Chump change Double or nothing! Two wrongs don’t make a right Better late than never Talk is cheap Money talks Money is the root of all evil Nothing lasts forever Seeing is believing One step at a time Time is relative A matter of … Continue reading

enhanced

Show of Hands

Instead of skimpily clad women hooking consumer goods to make men shop more so we can shag more how about diverse beautiful male hands to supplant those sexist ads because thoughts of fucking my own hand can be just as effective in making us want new cars.

Marvel Comics

White Elephants

In the heartland of America, betwixt homesteads billowed by corn fields, wafting deep-fried butter, for the pandering palette, elephants trumpet, patriots, of moral rectitude, imbued by founding fathers to alter the course of time that waits on no man. God’s own country, violated, by the enemies of celibacy and women left irate for exploitation of … Continue reading

manual

What They Become

Cocaine is born green and feeble to dark-hued peasants in the third world who nurture the child until it’s strong and white enough to be adopted by Americans

7135_1_other_anime_guns_anime_girls_girls_with_weapons

Until Tomorrow

Two dead women in an alley. The killer! Earned nineteen slugs to the chest and neck, dying theatrical, around 10pm. Paltry return, burned by swan songs, from Sam, poor thing, disintegrating in the ladies room, suffering the torment of men in short penises, one of four selfish bitches leeching my patience dry. Just another egg … Continue reading

naked trees

Anticlimax

Environmentalists make scant progress because they are never prepared to venture beyond the foreplay nowhere to be seen when the trees are standing naked in winter.

chicken humans

And The Winner Is!

Dear religious blogger, I apologize for all my blogposts that offended your beliefs. I am truly sorry. What you choose to believe is entirely up to you. If you wish to home-school your children in order to instil your beliefs without opposition is entirely up to you. If you wish to discriminate against certain sections of … Continue reading

cool

Get Undressed

Dear Infantile Blogger, you’re ruining the experience for many of us. It takes time – wasted time – to read your ‘sex tagged’ post that isn’t about sex. Do you actually understand what sex is? Maybe I can help. 1. It pertains to your Willy driving hard into Sally’s endzone. 2. Single admission: The five-finger … Continue reading

Out of Joint

foggy in the lobby bloody mess amazed at the maze patrons stealing names gate-crashing reservations no-one checking id’s flooding in the main hall trending now where’s the caviar, as advertised in there somewhere behind the whiskers under the pile and up the creek one paddle in a corner faux poets on time infant rhymes for … Continue reading

imagination

Strawberry Elephants

Mitch Lang deciphers the intricacies of poetic thought. And effect. Playdough I could say, He didn’t understand a thing About my poem! But what gives me the right? I may be the one to write, Those lines, But he is the interpreter. I may know what they Meant for me, But once I decide To … Continue reading

asson

Up for Grabs

The Bavarian Mine by Alexander Prophet Bar 103 sits smack down on a curved corner, in the prolific shadow of the 125year old Zion’s Church. The terrace is full, with yuppies, posers and local celebrities. Veronica. In the thick of it. Laptop opened. Tapping away. She’s a radio news-editor, writing a novel about black men, based … Continue reading

futurama

Everyone Has It

Beauty, Nice teeth, cute feet Friends, sex, paycheck Credit, car, house, spouse Gym membership, a New York Times subscription Flatscreen and concert tickets Facebook fame, Twitter name, Skype, Civil Rights Big dick, huge tits, no zits thanks to clearasil Tumblr and an Iphone, don’t leave home without it Windows 8 – maybe not that Obama … Continue reading

Those Nasty Germans

Those nasty Germans are at it again. ‘I told you so’, is exactly what your cliché infested minds begin to generate, and the media, those trusted professionals, waste no time in feeding that lecherous beast: German satirist Jan Böhmermann’s ‘Schmähgedicht’ (defamatory poem) from his Neo Royale television show. Yes, Jan did indeed ‘perform’ such a … Continue reading

escape

Leaving Already?

Goodbyes are unnecessary if departure from where you are is the only way to achieve happiness; just get up and leave

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